One year on

“Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow” - Anthony J. D’Angelo 

One year after leaving university I feel like now is the time to reflect upon how much I’ve grown in the past year. When I started this blog is was as part of an assignment during my final year of university. I didn't see much point in it, but now I kind of like the idea of using it as a diary. 

Going to university you know you will change and learn and grow, but you never realise how much you will do all of those things again when you leave. I had a love hate relationship with university and I feel like leaving made me appreciate it more, but it also forced me to become my own person, not rely on friends, lecturers etc. 

When you leave there isn’t a handbook as to what to do next, you just get thrown in the deep end and have to figure it out for yourself. Luckily I did (kind of), I got into a job very quickly and continued to learn more about landscape architecture. However, looking back I felt pressured by myself to apply to jobs and accept a job because everyone else was. I didn’t want to be left behind. I didn’t look into the company as much as I should of, I didn’t look into who I’d be working with and the sort of projects I’d be working on. And you never learn unless you do impulsive things like that, it encourages you to do those things for your next position.

I am currently an assistant landscape architect at an architectural firm. And even though I have learnt so so so much, my plant knowledge has improved, I know how to use Keyscape now etc. The biggest thing I have learnt is that very few peers in the industry understands our job. The architects don’t understand that plants need a minimum amount of space to grow and will argue with you because 200mm should be enough (it’s not at all). Some of them are amazing and trust you entirely. But being an architect or a landscape architect normally means you’re a bit OCD and like to be in control which I completely am, so it’s understandable that you don’t want someone coming along and trying to move all your plans around for a few plants. But they are important so you have to. If I can offer any advice it’s to argue back, you have a degree, you (kind of) know what you’re doing.

Working with new people such as the engineers, ecologists, architects, has made me a lot more confident about myself and my work. Within the first two weeks of my job I was adamant I couldn't do it. I was going to quit and give up because I didn't feel smart enough to be there. I felt annoying asking for help every half an hour and would sit for a while before asking as I didn't want to look stupid. 

A year on and the amount of confidence I have now is insane. I can do my job without needing to check I've done it right, I know I have. I still make simple mistakes, forgot to add a label to a plant etc. but I pick up those issues when I double check. I feel confident in going back to uni and doing a masters, I feel like I can and will be chartered one day. It's a great feeling but hard to get to. I feel like university encourages you to be confident but you never feel like you actually can. The lecturers help you with constructive criticism which is sometimes incredibly helpful, and sometimes just makes you want to sit down and cry and the real world is even harder.

Just have to keep reminding myself I can do it.